I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
