My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
