Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
