im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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