i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
