Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
