I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
