tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
false alarm, still single
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