I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
