Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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