sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
