She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
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You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
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she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize