I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
