sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
whose ass print is on the piano?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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