dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
