Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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