so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
