Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm just crazy horny about you
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
