So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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