he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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