as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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