dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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