My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
