So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
