question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
