She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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