TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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