so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
