OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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