office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
