its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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