Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I pour the whiskey from now on
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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