Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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