I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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