i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
