I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
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Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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