How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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