I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
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My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
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Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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