The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
