the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Can you bring me the toilet please
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
