come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
