He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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