If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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