We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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