Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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