I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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