I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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