No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
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I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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