i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
