you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
