So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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