At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize