u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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