To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
