Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
