My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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