Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
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If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
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He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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