If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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