you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
