party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
