Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
