Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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