the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
