Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
birth control should be required to get into college
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
